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So how do you tell if the dude you just started dating is genuinely good, or just a dick? But how does he respond when you aren’t available? Why do you take things so seriously? If he’s buying you lavish gifts that totally don’t fit your look, there might be reason to question his motives. This might seem super thoughtful at first, but Hanks says it can actually be a big red flag.
If he always wants you to decide things—where to go, what to do—that is a warning sign,” she says. Healthy people are able to both express their own wants and also consider the input of their date or girlfriend. This is kind of similar to that advice about never dating a cheater. Communicating via little love notes and occasional check-ins when you’re apart can be an important part of a healthy relationship. If a guy agrees with everything you think or say or do, he’s either not being genuine, or doesn’t have a good sense of who he is.
If he treats other women in his life poorly, or speaks about them disrespectfully, that’s a clear indicator that there’s likely a jerk lurking under that nice exterior. If he has a pattern of strained, negative, or disconnected relationships with other women, but claims to adore you, proceed with caution,” says Hanks. No one feels nice all the time. Failure to express other emotions can be a major warning sign. Healthy adults can express a full range of emotion—happy, mad, sad, scared, surprise, shame—and don’t need to hide behind a facade of niceness.