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Large Chocolate Filled Hatbox R 389. Please log in with your username or email to continue. By using our site, you agree to our cookie policy. How is where trusted research and expert knowledge come together. This article was co-authored by Evan Parks, PsyD. Evan Parks is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and an Adjunct Assistant Professor at The Michigan State University College of Human Medicine. Approach at Mary Free Bed Rehabilitation Hospital.
This article has been viewed 133,719 times. Not receiving a verbal thank you or a thank you card or note for a gift can be annoying. Rather than stew about the issue, you may try to deal with not getting a thank you. You can do this by confronting the person about their lack of thanks or by accepting the lack of thanks and moving on. Find a quiet, private place to talk. If you decide to confront the person you gave the gift to about their lack of thanks, do so face to face and in a private spot.
You may choose a neutral spot, like a coffee shop or a park bench. Or you may invite the person over for coffee or dinner at your home and have the talk then. Try to choose a setting where you can talk honestly and freely with the person. Ask the person if they received your gift. Before you confront the person, ask them directly if they received your gift. You may do this if you did not give them the gift in person, such as a gift sent by mail, or if the gift was left in a pile of presents and opened later. Confirming the person has received your gift will ensure you are not confronting them for something they did not get or open yet.
For example, you may say to the person, “I was just wondering if you got my gift? Did you get a chance to open my gift? Doing this may also prompt the person to remember to thank you for the gift. Give them some time to respond and see if they offer their thanks when prompted this way. Express your displeasure at not being thanked for the gift. If the person confirms they received the gift, you may tell them simply and honestly that you were surprised and disappointed you didn’t get a “thank you” for the gift.
Explain how it made you feel to not get a thank you and be honest about your feelings. Often, saying this will prompt a person to respond with “Sorry” and “Thank you” or explain why they did not say thank you to you right away. Be patient when listening to the person’s response. Focus primarily on your feelings when you discuss the issue without putting blame on the other person. End the conversation on a positive note. If the person brushes off your question or does not respond with a “thank you,” try not to let it bother you. Work on ending the conversation on a positive note, even if you did not get the thanks you wanted.
For example, you may say to the person, “It bothers me that you do not show thanks for the gift. But I can accept it and move on. Keep in mind the lack of thanks may have nothing to do with you. If you do not want to confront the person about their lack of thanks, you may need to work on accepting the situation as it is.