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How is where trusted research and expert knowledge come together. This article was co-authored by Klare Heston, LCSW. Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. There are 9 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. How marks an article as reader-approved once it receives enough positive feedback.
This article has been viewed 567,541 times. Valentine’s Day for new couples may feel as awkward as a 10-ton gorilla doing ballet, given that your feelings for one another are very new and you’re not sure where your relationship is headed. Whether you’ve been on only one date or have been seeing each other for a few weeks, the dreaded red-hearted holiday can make even the most confident dater feel insecure about how to approach the holiday. Ignore it if it’s too soon. If you’ve only been on a date or two, it’s probably best to ignore Valentine’s Day altogether.
Jumping on a romantic holiday may push your potential date away, so it’s probably a good idea to skip it for this year. Ask yourself what you really want. Think about how long you’ve been in the relationship, and how much you realistically expect the other person to contribute. If you think dinner and a card is reasonable, get the other person a card and ask him or her out to dinner on or near the day.
One way to alleviate the stress is to simply talk to your crush about it. You can suggest keeping it low-key since you’re new to the relationship, as well as make a plan for a nice dinner or an outing if you’d like. For instance, you could say, “Our relationship is still pretty new. Why don’t we keep Valentine’s Day low-key? We could say no gifts, though cards are fine.
Do you want to have a nice dinner together? Ask the other person what they think of Valentine’s Day. It might be a good idea to even take the other person’s temperature about how they even feel about it before pursuing a date on the day. For example, you could say, “I know our relationship is still in the early stages, so I thought maybe we could talk about what we want to do for Valentine’s Day. Discuss the fact that you’ve only been dating a short time and that you’re both now confronted with a highly romantic holiday. Be honest about how bizarre it is to begin a new relationship as other couples are declaring their love from the rooftops.
Let the other person know that you get the fact that both of you may not be ready just yet for poems and love songs. As an example, you could say, “So, Valentine’s Day is coming up. One option is agreeing to ignore Valentine’s Day altogether if you’re both happy with that option. If you both want different things, try to make a compromise.